37

This year I am 37 

Embarked on a new journey 

 Went back to 50% of my old life 

Went back to reading & learning 

Went back to taking trains and climbing stairs 

Went back to self discovery

Back to swooning over books at Maruzen

still the same

i still love the same man after 10 years, sucker :(. but..this is so true.

Pasta

Astro, Gardenia and Gula. Today my astro guy came to fix my astro yang berkali-kali dah rosak. I told him to complaint to astro as he claims that the product that had been supplied to him to fix is not as good as before because anandha krishnan has sold astro to UmNo. I was shocked..'really? I didnt know'.. 'ya la..masa stock market mahal hari tu semua umno sudah beli' he replied adding 'barang sudah mahal..quality xda macam itu gardenia and gula la...saya sudah xbeli sebab itu umno punya...u tau ka harga sudah naik?' Wow..everything is related to umno now...abb he added..'kfc pon saya x kasik saya punya family makan..itu pon umno punya..' My reply, Mr Ng, selama ni semua org beli semua org punya barang tak ingat party politik pon..saya pon call you..bukan call mca atau dap.. And saya rasa harga x naik..sbb gula gomen control the price..roti pon x naik harga..mana u tgk.. Lain kali u check betul-betul..jgn ikut org saja..' 'Yaka gula gomen control? Saya pon x tau loohhh...tapi roti gardenia sudah mahal...' Apa nak jadik Malaysia ni.. So much animosity and misguided perception embedded in the society.. I seriously think its unhealthy to relate products to political parties. Although some political parties are related to bussiness but many bussinessmen in malaysia do not survive because of political influences such as the previous raja gula..but how come when a malay owns it..its a problem? Because he is Umno? Or because he is not mca/gerakan/dap? Which one? Im getting more and more confused.

astr, gula dan gardenia.

Astro, Gardenia and Gula. Today my astro guy came to fix my astro yang berkali-kali dah rosak. I told him to complaint to astro as he claims that the product that had been supplied to him to fix is not as good as before because anandha krishnan has sold astro to UmNo. I was shocked..'really? I didnt know'.. 'ya la..masa stock market mahal hari tu semua umno sudah beli' he replied adding 'barang sudah mahal..quality xda macam itu gardenia and gula la...saya sudah xbeli sebab itu umno punya...u tau ka harga sudah naik?' Wow..everything is related to umno now...abb he added..'kfc pon saya x kasik saya punya family makan..itu pon umno punya..' My reply, Mr Ng, selama ni semua org beli semua org punya barang tak ingat party politik pon..saya pon call you..bukan call mca atau dap.. And saya rasa harga x naik..sbb gula gomen control the price..roti pon x naik harga..mana u tgk.. Lain kali u check betul-betul..jgn ikut org saja..' 'Yaka gula gomen control? Saya pon x tau loohhh...tapi roti gardenia sudah mahal...' Apa nak jadik Malaysia ni.. So much animosity and misguided perception embedded in the society.. I seriously think its unhealthy to relate products to political parties. Although some political parties are related to bussiness but many bussinessmen in malaysia do not survive because of political influences such as the previous raja gula..but how come when a malay owns it..its a problem? Because he is Umno? Or because he is not mca/gerakan/dap? Which one? Im getting more and more confused.

IF MALAYSIA IF

If.Malaysia.if If we put the shopping cart back to its place If we put back our groceries that we decided not to buy to its original shelf If we dont leave our shopping carts anywhere we like We do not need so many foreign workers working in malls. If you pump your own petrol for your car If you learn how to check your tyre pressure If you know how to wipe you own windows ... We do not need so many foreign people working in petrol stations If we put away our plates and trays at restaurants If we separate the recyclables, drinks and food stuff If we clean the table before we leave We do not need so many foreign people cleaning up after us at restaurants If we dont throw garbage everywhere If we separate our garbage properly If we use public toilets tolerantly We do not need so many foreign people working as cleaners in this country Stop bring spoil brats. If.We.If.Malaysia.

I Admire and I am Thankful

this is one i wrote on 13 March 2011. I am in Japan.I do not know what will happen tomorrow. But remember, even in malaysia, you dont know what will happen tomorrow. But in this situation of disaster and emergency, i think i am atleast lucky to be in this country compared to in any other country because the empathy and sympathy towards each other is admirable. Vending machines selling canned drinks were free flow on the day of the earthquake, but everyone only drank the amount they needed and didnt try to rob the vending machines to zero. it made me wonder if it would be the same in Malaysia? Public phones were free immediately since the reception of mobile phones the all jammed up. lines were extremely long but people were still thinking of others when using the phones. My university, which is Meiji University keep sending information and updates to all of us especially foreign students. it is all very admirable. Lecturers and staffs email us all the time, calling us, asking how i am faring. For the roof i have now, for the people i have around me now, for the electricity i have now, for the internet connection i have now, for the food i have now, for the water i have now, for the wishes i received now, for the words of encouragement i have now. I admire and i am thankful. .

i wrote this on the 12th of April 2012. Titled: i do not want to forget. Today is the 11th of April 2011. Last month on this very day, the earth shook so hard where i stood in the middle of my missable kitchen ,that i ran out of my house barefooted a couple of times. so it has been a month. i am afraid that i might forget that moment and that is why i am writing this: as a reminder to myself. On that very same day, just few minutes after the biggest tremor, a couple of smaller ones kept occuring. announcements came one after another came from the City Council from the speakers. everyone ran outside of their homes and onto the roads. people were holding their children and many came out empty handed. The small river in front of the house, lined with sakura trees were still barren. no leaves or no signs of budding sakuras. it was still too cold. The river was a very very shallow one. The river waters shook and swayed to the right and then to the left continously. then it started to shake harder, making the water spill onto the roads on both sides. it was like watching a sampan with some water in it being rocked sideways, enough to spill the water to the left and right side. At that very time, who would have guessed that the northern regions of tokyo has been hit by tsunami. Although there have been tsunami warning erlier because of the previous earthquake in Miyagi/Iwate a few days earlier, no one was prepared for a blow as big as this. On the very evening i was supposed to go to University at 3pm to meet a friend in Meiji University to collect a Banana Republic Shopping Coupon. I was still at home at the time of the quake ( at about 2.45pm) because some friends came over to my house after our friday Biryani at Tikka House to taste my bread pudding. It was a friday and many gather there after Friday prayers. Afiela and Fahmi left for gyotoku eki after lunch. we were separated. After that, at about 4 oclock, after watching all sorts of news on TV and getting in touch with some friends online through Skype and FB, all sorts of information and feeelings rushed into me. i kept telling myself to stay calm. all phone lines were useless at that time. Prelimenary annoucements mentioned that everyone near the shore should be 15 meters above to be safe. i was near the shore. i was near Disneyland and DisneySea because i could hear the fireworks at night, everynight and if on a clear night, i could see the fireworks between the buildings. Bare in mind that the tremors are still going on. Although smaller, i dont know if it was reading regarding the oil shock in japan that made me think of toilet paper but i took the bicycle to a small grocery shop nearby 'Attack'. Goods fell everywehre from the shelves and some even broke into pieces. Panic buying was in the air but it was only the start. well, at that moment, the shop keeeper would have thanked the gods for the name of the shope because, it was truly attacked!!! People were already starting to line up to buy toilet paper ( the oil shock and the toilet paper story) and water. rice was also seen quite in demand. i joined the crowd. After buying some things i needed including bananas, i headed to a small bay near my hse because i wanted to see if the water level has risen. it didnt but the roads cracked, the streets were jammed and the traffic lights were not workng. Order was in but people are worried because the phones were out. People couldnt be in touch with family and friends.only internet was functioning. ONLY internet. FB was a GREAT HELP.SKYPE was a saviour. TWITTER was a hero. INTERNET was the leader and soul provider of disaster management. i quickly realized how important the internet infrastructure is. GOOD and reliable internet infrastructure.and again, i am so thankful for it. believe me the day was long and between uncomplrehendable japanese news on the TV and radio, mixed responses on internet, and msges from friends, i managed the night. i was calmer after afiela was saved by a Hero whom name i will keep anonymous but he knows who he is :) Afiela even had a newspaper article in Utusan Malaysia on the next day telling her experience during the quake. i shall not want to forget that night. we were both uncertain, we both were thinking hard, thinking of circumstances, various scenarios and our minds were reeking with concerns but we slept that night only to be awaken by another goyang inul very early the next morning. I was glad Afiela was there with me. Oyasuminasai. .

Hello Again.

i have not written for a long time. its like i suddenly found an old diary. i plan to write again. i have ideas. i have issues. i want to share. i will write again.

when he leaves...

when he leaves you
when he looks at you but u feel only emptiness
when he he leaves you
when he hesitates to talk
when he leaves you
when he wavers to wish you
when he leaves you
when he says he wont but yet he left you alone.

Today

Its 9th January 2011. last year i was jumping around Tokyo since Xmas to see illuminations and all the Xmas decos around town, enjoying New Year Parties, then all the New Year sales around town, Fuku-bukuros, but this year, i am so katak bawah tempurung. home, library, cafe, uni, home.

i am glad anyway. but my days here are numbered..still there is so much i wanna do, so much i wanna see.

HE

me at this moment

叫ぶよ　好きだよ

Nagareboshi

Aida Mitsuo

空気の
中にいるから
空気を意識しない
歩くときに
足を意識しない

Air is always around you
That's why
You aren't concious of the air

When you walk
You aren't concious of your legs

you

i love this friend of mine.
he has all the qualities i hate in a man.i hate his guts and his cruelness.
thats why he is my friend.i love him. he is the best friend that i ever had.
he is a bad combination of everything, timing, looks ..everything.

i love you dear,nothing in the world could change that.

HAri 1Malaysia dan sepagi di NArita Airport

Pergilah buat kerja yang lebih baik untuk rakyat

Utusan Malaysia - 16 September 2010

Polis akan panggil Shamsul Iskandar

KUALA LUMPUR 15 Sept. - Polis akan memanggil Ketua Angkatan Muda Keadilan, Shamsul Iskandar Mohd. Akin bagi merakamkan percakapannya berhubung tuduhan yang mengaitkan pasukan keselamatan itu dengan pembunuhan jutawan kosmetik, Datuk Sosilawati Lawiya.

Ketua Polis Selangor, Datuk Khalid Abu Bakar berkata, Shamsul Iskandar perlu bertanggungjawab sepenuhnya terhadap semua tuduhan yang dilemparkan dan jika gagal mengemukakan bukti, beliau bakal dikenakan tindakan undang-undang.

"Jika tidak tahu fakta sebenar jangan bercakap ikut sedap mulut. Inilah kenyataan paling merepek yang pernah saya dengar dan kita akan memanggil beliau untuk dirakam percakapan bagi membolehkan siasatan dilakukan terhadap dakwaan yang dilemparkan.

"Beliau perlu bertanggungjawab sepenuhnya dengan kenyataan yang telah dibuat dan jika gagal mengemukakan sebarang bukti, kita akan mendakwa beliau di mahkamah selepas semua siasatan dilengkapkan," katanya ketika dihubungi Utusan Malaysia di sini, hari ini.

Kepada soalan sama ada sudah ada laporan polis dibuat berhubung tuduhan itu, Khalid berkata sehingga kini tiada laporan diterima pihaknya.

Dalam pada itu, Khalid memberi ingatan kepada semua pemimpin politik agar tidak mempolitikkan pembunuhan Sosilawati serta kes-kes jenayah lain semata-mata untuk kepentingan agenda sempit mereka atau bakal berdepan dengan tindakan tegas oleh pihak berkuasa.

"Jangan jadi ahli politik yang tiada kerja sehingga asyik hendak mempolitikkan isu-isu seperti ini. Pergilah buat kerja yang lebih baik untuk rakyat," tegasnya.


======= Tepat sekali apa kata ketua polis Selangor.Pls everyone, please be more rational and responsible. Jgnlah menggadai segala-galanya untuk kepentingan politik. BENCIIII...

i am hating mixed signals.

if u want me,
u better say it!!]

( because i could never ask )

Masters Thesis

Writing a thesis is extremely hard.
Its hard because i cannot concentrate and have no focus whatsoever.
i became queen of laziness.

could i be different tomorrow?
i think i have not changed and will never change.

tonite i will have to watch Hotaru no hikari 2 final episode!
there goes my focus!

p/s - selamat hari jadi suri..sorry the cake was small.